Greetings from the Abyss by Jack (Part 14)

Jack is serving life without parole, and has terminal cancer. Throughout my incarceration, Jack was a positive influence. He encouraged me to keep writing, to enter short-story competitions, and we proofread each other’s chapters. Jack is seeking pen pals, so anyone interested please email me at attwood.shaun@hotmail.co.uk for his details.

I wish that I could say that I am doing OK health wise, but that would be a lie. I can’t remember if I mentioned to you or not, but the prison has cut off my pain medication. It has become progressively more difficult with the passing of each day. I usually get up at 4am. That’s the time I feel the best and it’s the easiest to get around. It varies day to day but usually by 11am I’m in so much pain it’s difficult to function with any sense of normalcy. Frankly, I’m not sure how much more of this I can take. I’m due to go back to the oncologist in January, right now that seems a long time off. The end of this month will mark three years since I was first diagnosed with cancer. During this time it has been a constant battle for proper care. I am sure that my frustration of dealing with them has contributed to my current situation. Shaun, the way I feel now makes me question continuing with treatment. At the moment, I do not see the benefit of prolonging my agony. What exactly is the use of undergoing all of the chemo treatments if I must endure this constant pain?  Add to this the knowledge that this type of cancer will just continue to reoccur, and I will have to deal with these same pain management issues for years to come makes me question the reasonableness of this course of action. At least this isn’t a decision I must make today.


Shaun Attwood

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